


Skulduggery Pleasant: Protectors of the Innocent

by Aurora Dark (Jazzmania_Chronicle)



Category: Skulduggery Pleasant - Derek Landy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Blood and Violence, Canon-Typical Violence, Crime Fighting, Crimes & Criminals, Dark Magic, Elemental Magic, Fantasy, Gen, Humor, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Interrogation, Mild Language, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Suggestive Themes, Undercover Missions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:20:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23626018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jazzmania_Chronicle/pseuds/Aurora%20Dark
Summary: What if, after the war, Skulduggery Pleasant never returned to Dublin? What if he relocated to another country, worked with another sanctuary? What would his present life be like?
Relationships: Skulduggery Pleasant & Original Female Character
Kudos: 1





	Skulduggery Pleasant: Protectors of the Innocent

The two individuals sat alone in the car. It was the dead of night and there were barely any people around. Not that it mattered anyway. In a normal setting, people would have screamed and ran for cover as soon as they laid eyes on the pair. But this wasn't a normal setting.

The man sitting in the driver's seat had no eyes, no hair, no flesh whatsoever. The only thing that hid beneath a scarf and a wide-brimmed hat was a skull. To put it simply, he was a man who was really a skeleton in a black suit. An _exquisite_ black suit nonetheless. He had his arm perched on the car window, thin gloved fingers tapping rhythmically against the door. Apart from his fingers, the rest of his body remained still and ironically, lifeless.

His companion was a dark-skinned woman with dark hair and piercing yellow eyes. She had a half-eaten sandwich in one hand and a book in the other. Every time she took a bite, bread crumbs and tomato juice spilled onto her lap and seat. She didn't appear to have noticed, mainly focusing on the book's pages. Her companion, however, did notice. The tapping ceased.

"Could you please to a better job at staying tidy?" His voice was like velvet and soothing to the ears. The woman looked at him, a dollop of mayonnaise on her upper lip. She licked away.

"I have a napkin."

"You're spilling crumbs all over seat!"

"I'll clean it with my napkin." She took another bite, more crumbs spilling.

The man sighed, pulling his scarf from over his mouth. "If you're going to be a frequent passenger in this car, the least you could do is try to be considerate and respect your partner's property." 

"You're the one who wanted to drive your car on assignments," she turned a page with her thumb. "We could've used a squad car."

"That's hardly the point."

"Look, Ireland. I have a frickin' napkin over my lap and one wrapped around my sandwich. How is that not being considerate?"

He pointed to the seat and the car floor. "You're still getting crumbs all over place."

"Then I'll clean up after myself. Jesus, you act like I _never_ clean up after myself whenever I'm eating in your car."

"You could make the effort of staying clean in the first place."

"OK, _ma_ , I'll keep that in mind for next time!"

He resumed tapping his fingers. "There's no need for that kind of attitude."

"I don't have an attitude. You're the one making a big deal out of this _ridiculous_ bullshit!"

"There's also no need for that type of language."

She huffed and went back to reading. He become silent as well, save for the tapping on the car door.

The radio came on with a burst of static. _"There's a robbery in progress at a local bodega. Something about a sorcerer stealing four bottles of wine and openly threatening passersby. Detectives Pleasant and Dark, please take care of it."_

The man immediately brought the car to life, headlights shining bright. "Time to go to work."

"Wait, let me finish this small piece of sandwich." She then proceeded to stuff her mouth with whatever was left over of the sandwich. It was not a small piece so it took a moment to chew down the contents. He watched her intently.

"Don't choke." he said patiently.

She held up one finger in a _hold on_ gesture and continued to chew. Another few moments and she swallowed, the food going slowly down her throat. She could've chewed a bit more to make the descent much easier but it went down either way. She wiped her mouth with her napkin and tossed the napkin out the window.

"Let's go kick us some ass." She said finally, buckling herself to the seat. He choose to ignore her crude response and put the car into drive.

They drove off into the night.


End file.
